Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy

You cannot control perception. This is something I learned very recently. My son and I traveled to New York this week. Our hotel served complimentary breakfast so everyday my son and I would go down to the lobby to eat and talk. No tablet and no phones because this is norm for our little family at the table. On our last day at the hotel, I allowed Desi to take the tablet down so he could enjoy a little time "to himself " at the table. As I sat down with my food I watched Desi as he chewed silently and swung his feet back and forth with delight. It made me smile. I peered over to my left a noticed a woman with her grandson sitting at a table. I noticed that there were no phones out at their table. An insecure thought rushed over me. "Oh gosh she must think that I am a horrible mother because I am sitting here on my phone not interacting with my son who is on his TABLET! Ugh! I should tell him to put it down and start engaging in some deep mother son conversation." I...

You don’t really know who you are until you go through something. Sometimes true colors form a distasteful work of art. Other times colors bring forth a masterpiece . As you look at yourself as the distasteful work of art, you want to shred every inch of it to pieces, stomp on it, light a match to it and watch it burn, baby, burn. But this sweet revelation comes over you as you begin to peer into its darkness . You don’t like what you see, but it is an art… you are the art at work. Yes, those true colors came from a deep and dark place, but you have the power to change the makeup of that piece of work and turn it into a masterpiece . It may be a challenge as you try to create new strokes, but the more dedication and effort you put into it, the more you begin to see reflections of a new piece a work…this is the art of you.

Change is inevitable How you gonna receive it? Take it in-inhale it Throw it away-run from it The choice is yours It’s up to you Come down off the high horse Bring it to some water Save your life See a new tomorrow Don’t live your life confined to complaint It keeps you from breathing Puts your body under restraint Break free-free open your eyes and give it a try Stuck in your ways and you won’t leave the maze It’s up to you.

It has been a month since my last post regarding my health. As of today, my heart is fine. My chest pains have subsided and the fatigue is no longer over-bearing. My latest blood test revealed that I have inflammation somewhere in my body. The doctors are not sure what the cause is. I went to the Rheumatologist and she confirmed that I did not have Lupus or Rheumatoid Arthritis or any other autoimmune disease. That was a relief to hear. Although I was relieved, I felt a little defeated. I was hoping to get some answers and a solution to the problem. My mother suggested that I eliminate some of the medication I take. I tried eliminating my anxiety medication (with the help of my doc of course). I was going strong for about 2 weeks without it but found I needed to get back to taking it. Next was the birth control. I read that birth control can be the culprit so I stopped taking it. I have known for some time that the pill does more harm than good on a woman's body but I didn't ...

I am sick and do not know why. I have been dealing with some serious symptoms. I have always dealt with extreme fatigue but in the past 2 years it has become nearly debilitating. I find it hard to do simple things like grocery shopping or doing chores around the house or walking up the steps or putting my clothes on. I experience extreme fatigue with these activities and it usually takes me a day or two to recoup. I have dizziness, and heart palpitations. I have recently experienced chest pain. It wasn't until I started having chest pains during sex when I decided it was time to take a visit to the doctor. My doctor advised that this could be something related to my heart. Since visiting the doctor, I have had blood tests that show I am healthy and I recently did a stress test and 2D Echo that showed my heart was fine. I immediately felt like a fool and quickly reasoned that this was possibly in my head. I have an angiogram scheduled for tomorrow but I don't think anything will...

I am woman I bleed for love I carry the seed for love There is strength in my womb and my soul carries the weight of the future Nothing would stand without the right hand I am the confidence builder for any man See my beauty on the darkest of days I will beam like sunlight to show you the way Never underestimate the intelligence built within me Adam was a perfect man but admitted he needed me Lay on my heart Hear the story it will tell It beats for love and that will never fail I am woman wonderfully made and exceptional I am woman I am powerful

I prefer the color purple rather than the color pink. Purple is the color I like the most because I think it is beautiful. A month ago my son revealed his color preference and I wasn't prepared. It has taken me some time to think about whether I would write about this topic or not as it is pretty sensitive but in the end I feel like not writing about it would bring a constant nagging that would be hard to escape. About a month ago, my oldest son, Desmond asked me to place my hand up against his hand and I did not understand why. He analyzed his hand and mine and proceeded to say, "I wish I had you and Omari's color brown." My heart betrayed me and stopped. All my senses went numb. I couldn't believe what my wonderfully made son just said. I asked him why he felt that way and he said that my brown and his brother's brown was a better brown because it's lighter. I pushed past the ringing in my ear and lovingly asked him if someone at school was saying mean ...

I took a break from writing. It was a break that I didn't know I needed but it kind of happened naturally. A few months ago, my son Desmond lovingly counseled me on how much attention I have been paying to my phone. He was right. My head was down too often enough for him to notice. I can't let that happen again. These moments with my babies are too precious and fragile. I definitely need to HANDLE WITH CARE. So with that being said, I am back but I am going to exercise a little more balance. I love writing but sometimes I get too needy. I turn into the clingy girlfriend with it. I also started getting obsessed with gaining followers and popularity with the media spectators. I wanted people to really enjoy my blog as much as I do (and I wanted to make a little money too. Shoot). I can't worry myself about it. That will take a backseat. My children come first. I am going to be more cautious this time around. I will find a balance. I have been humbled. I truly appreciate par...

Thursday night my husband and I snuck out the house to catch the 11:40p showing of Star Wars! My mother stays at our house during the week to watch Omari so she was fine with staying with the kids while we ran off to be teenagers again. As soon as we put the boys to bed, we rolled out (Roll Out by Ludacris plays here). It was exciting! Sometimes things are so surreal to me that it seems like my life is a movie and I will instantly que music in my head for the relatable scene. I felt a rush come over me while we tiptoed through the house and out the door. It felt like we were being rebellious. We were rebelling against the parental norms for the night. Once we got into the car, we just smiled at each other as I silently melted. His smile is a constant reminder of one of the many reasons why he is my husband. He is so fine (I Love Your Smile by Shauniece plays here)! He said, "You ready baby?" I nodded and we headed for the theater. He thanked me for coming with him and I could...

I am a hostage. The names of the people holding me hostage may shock you. They have sweet little faces and say cute things but don't be fooled. Their names are Desmond and Omari. Yes, my children. The leader is clearly the one named Omari. He may only be 1 but he is very powerful and scary at times. Sometimes when I am in the kitchen he appears out of nowhere. He uses his powerful grip to take hold of my leg and he only let's go when he wants to! He makes me move around with him hanging on and no matter how hard I try, I cannot break free. Desmond has night duty. He makes me lay down with him and Omari until they fall asleep. Many nights I end up falling asleep in their room. On the occasions that I do break free, I have to become a snake and slither out their room. I don't dare to breath because they will indeed hear it - they have impeccable hearing. Once I am out, I have to somehow walk on air so they will not hear my footsteps and the annoying creaks in the floor. Why ...

My 1 year old got stitches on his head last night (really this morning- ER was packed). The first of many real deal boo boos. We have a drum set in our basement and one of the snare drums was on the floor. I turned my back for literally 2 seconds (to eat a freakin cookie) and heard a shriek of pain. I quickly turned around and saw Omari holding his head. I ran over to him thinking he just hit his head on the floor or wall or something but I saw blood. I looked around and saw the snare drum and put two and two together. I cleaned the wound and saw a hole in his head. It was clearly a puncture. It wouldn't stop bleeding and it looked pretty deep. My baby! I was sick to my stomach because my baby was hurt. Desi held his stomach and started pacing the floor. "Oh God!" He said. He started to cry. "I don't want my baby brother to be hurt. Is he going to be okay?" He was so worried. My husband consoled him while I tried to clean the wound. I told my husband I have ...

After watching a series of Iyanla Fix My Life episodes I felt compelled to write a post about who I am as a woman. Have I truly explored that question? Who is Aisha? I have all these parts that make up the whole but what is the whole? Let's break it down by the parts first. A part of me is: 1. A wife 2. A mom 3. A daughter 4. A sister These positions in life add to who I am. Now WHO AM I at my core? Here is what I am discovering: I am a woman who has a great deal of love and respect for Jehovah God. This is the biggest part of who I am. How I move in life, whether it be spiritually,  physically,  emotionally or mentally, is wrapped up in my relationship with Jehovah. I am a woman who cares about the well being of others and is moved to help where necessary. I do not like to be overbearing and I am very sensitive to others feelings. I am observant and intuitive. At times I can be proactive and at other times I can be reactive and I am okay with that. I am a woman that lo...

My oldest son does not want to be called Desi anymore. He tells everyone that they can call him Dez. I mean who put the idea in his head that he could grow up?! I swear I was not prepared for him to shed the nickname I have been calling him ever since he was blocked off from this world and living safely inside of me. Yes I am being very dramatic and rightly so! My child...my baby. When did I blink? I thought that I was holding on to time (insert tears here)? I got so choked up when he mentioned to someone that they could call him Dez after he was introduced as Desi. I would have balled if people weren't standing right in front of me. I literally, in that moment, travelled forward into time and saw a grown man with a mustache looking at me calling me Ma...not mommy and going by the name Dez. I had to express myself to Desi. So I told him that everyone else can call him Dez but mommy is still going to call him Desi. He protested of course but I went on to explain why I want to keep...

It has been over a year since I last posted. My goal was to continue to post so I could revisit my recorded experiences. Welp! I guess I will begin again. I have changed the name of my blog from "New to the Motherhood" to "Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy" because I am no longer a new mommy. My oldest son is 6 years old now and my second is a year old. I would say that I have quite a bit of mothering experience under my belt. I feel like Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy is all-encompassing. These are the reminders I want to keep for myself and what I want to instill in my children. A mother LIVES for her children, LAUGHS with them, PRAYS for them and with them. All of this can be likened to the body of a letter. They are the major parts of being a mom and life overall. The signature at the end of this letter would be "Love Mommy." Mommy's love ties all of the major parts together. Maybe it's cheesy but that's how I see it. Anyway, I have changed the ...

Wow. I stopped writing for 3 years? What happened? Life happened. It's been pretty busy and a lot has happened over these past few years. What should I talk about first? Hmm....new job in 2013, nervous breakdown in 2014, new job in 2014 or new baby in 2016??  I'll take new baby please! Omg! He is just so cute! His name is Omari and he is 4 months now. Gosh, time really flies. I feel like I just walked out of the hospital with him yesterday. My oldest sweetheart, Desmond, is so in love with his little brother. I am really happy about that because he had a moment when I was pregnant. He told me that he didn't love the baby and was sad. I was terrified. Fast forward to now and they are the best of friends. I almost have to pinch myself because I feel like I am dreaming. I have 2 beautiful boys. Gosh. What can I say? Oh! To make things even better, I will be celebrating my 9 year wedding anniversary next month with my best friend. I am very thankful for my blessings! Anyw...

Tuning out in 5,4,3,2,1....I would like to have a break please! And no, I am not talking about a piece of a Kit Kat bar break. I am talking about a kick off my shoes, relax, don't cook, don't talk, don't, don't, don't, just don't do anything because I deserve it kind of break! Whew! I'm glad to get that off my chest. It has been a minute since I have even posted anything because things have been so hectic and when I finally get some time to rest, I'm sleeping. A chick just doesn't have time to write anything and sometimes when the time arrives, I don't want to write because that requires thinking and my brain refuses to do such a thing when it's burned out. I feel bad, because Desi has watched more TV than I can stand over these past few weeks. I just need some time! I want to be by myself. Not forever, but for maybe a day. That's it. I want to enjoy a silent room and listen to my thoughts and connect with myself. Gosh, I saw a post on ...

"I'm a strong little guy!" Desmond victoriously screeches as he picks up the gallon of laundry detergent. He moves the detergent into the kitchen and as if that weren't enough of a challenge, he picks up another gallon of detergent and moves that into the kitchen. "See mommy, I'm a strong little guy!" Mommy smiles and admiringly requests to see the strong little guys big muscles. Desmond immediately throws his arms up as if he were a body builder competing for a trophy. "Wow! You definitely have some huge muscles Desi!" Mommy says. Desmond imagines that he has a cape. "I am going to save you mommy!" Desmond knows that all the superheroes have life-saving muscles. He imagines that mommy has fallen into the water and cannot swim. "Here, take my hand! I will save you!" Says the strong little guy. He saves his mommy from the dangerous waters. "Oh thank you so much! You saved my life!" Mommy says. She l...

So a few weeks ago I spoke about Desi reverting back to baby years. Well, it seems that lately he is trying to show a little independence. He wants to do things on his own. One time I pulled a plum out of his lunch bag and handed it to him. He pushed it away and said, "No, I can do it Mommy." He took the plum from me, put it back in the bag and took it out himself. Another night he got mad at me and said, "I'm the adult and you're the child Mommy!" Wha-what did you just say to me little boy?! LOL! I couldn't even correct him because it was just so funny. Interesting huh? He is really going through some changes. One minute he wants to be a baby and the next minute he wants to act like he is years away from my womb. LOL! Well, his growing feet are a true indication that he is becoming a big boy. A few Mondays ago, Chris and I took Desi to the mall to go shoe shopping. I decided that I wanted to get his feet measured. I am so glad that I ...

"Oh, oh! I want to bless someone mommy!" Desi yelled out tonight as I began the prayer. He proceeded to mention names. "Bless, Gigi and Pop Pop, Granma, Uncle, Tyson, my house, my fan and my twinkle little star." That last request tickled me. He was so serious too. I am just so glad that he is learning to cultivate that intimate relationship with God. The fact that he took initiative to pray for others is amazing. He evening prayed for our neighbor and her dog! I can only pray that Desi's love for God grows deeper and deeper. We definitely do not force it because we do not want to irritate him. Case in point, the other night at dinner, I asked Desi who made the sky and the clouds. He shook his head and said, "No Mommy no." Lol! He clearly wasn't interested in having that kind of conversation at that time. His response took me aback, but I understood and let him eat and talk about what he wanted to talk about. This world is not getting any bette...

Hello to everyone in the motherhood! It feels so good to be back. I had a few technical difficulties so I have been on hiatus. I hope that all is well. Desi is doing very well. He is moving right along. He is getting so tall and he talking up a storm. Just today he said, "That's just impossible!" Really? My husband and I just laughed. This boy seriously unpredictable. We are in such awe. In other news, I really wanted to go on a "me-time" vacation this weekend, but I procrastinated with making reservations. I wanted to go somewhere I could connect with my thoughts without distractions. I wanted to dive into the Bible and do some personal study and have some one-on-one time with Jehovah God--my own spiritual retreat. Well, I will just put that in my back pocket. Until then, I will continue with finding little pockets of time to connect with myself. I truly believe that it is necessary. Only because I have been on the other side where I lost myself in my baby bo...