Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy

You don’t really know who you are until you go through something. Sometimes true colors form a distasteful work of art. Other times colors bring forth a masterpiece . As you look at yourself as the distasteful work of art, you want to shred every inch of it to pieces, stomp on it, light a match to it and watch it burn, baby, burn. But this sweet revelation comes over you as you begin to peer into its darkness . You don’t like what you see, but it is an art… you are the art at work. Yes, those true colors came from a deep and dark place, but you have the power to change the makeup of that piece of work and turn it into a masterpiece . It may be a challenge as you try to create new strokes, but the more dedication and effort you put into it, the more you begin to see reflections of a new piece a work…this is the art of you.

Change is inevitable How you gonna receive it? Take it in-inhale it Throw it away-run from it The choice is yours It’s up to you Come down off the high horse Bring it to some water Save your life See a new tomorrow Don’t live your life confined to complaint It keeps you from breathing Puts your body under restraint Break free-free open your eyes and give it a try Stuck in your ways and you won’t leave the maze It’s up to you.

I have developed an affinity for red wine. I am not quite sure why it has taken this long. I have been a lover of white wine since legal drinking age. However, I experience something different when my lips brush up against the smooth and luscious note of this red libation. I get a more mature and settled feeling. All in the world is clear and concise. I even hold my glass with a sophisticated elegance. It loving coaxes me to cross my legs, lean back, and breathe deeply. I am relaxed. I am still. This is just what I need. I still love my white wine but I am falling for ruby kisses.

I am woman I bleed for love I carry the seed for love There is strength in my womb and my soul carries the weight of the future Nothing would stand without the right hand I am the confidence builder for any man See my beauty on the darkest of days I will beam like sunlight to show you the way Never underestimate the intelligence built within me Adam was a perfect man but admitted he needed me Lay on my heart Hear the story it will tell It beats for love and that will never fail I am woman wonderfully made and exceptional I am woman I am powerful

Thursday night my husband and I snuck out the house to catch the 11:40p showing of Star Wars! My mother stays at our house during the week to watch Omari so she was fine with staying with the kids while we ran off to be teenagers again. As soon as we put the boys to bed, we rolled out (Roll Out by Ludacris plays here). It was exciting! Sometimes things are so surreal to me that it seems like my life is a movie and I will instantly que music in my head for the relatable scene. I felt a rush come over me while we tiptoed through the house and out the door. It felt like we were being rebellious. We were rebelling against the parental norms for the night. Once we got into the car, we just smiled at each other as I silently melted. His smile is a constant reminder of one of the many reasons why he is my husband. He is so fine (I Love Your Smile by Shauniece plays here)! He said, "You ready baby?" I nodded and we headed for the theater. He thanked me for coming with him and I could...

My 1 year old got stitches on his head last night (really this morning- ER was packed). The first of many real deal boo boos. We have a drum set in our basement and one of the snare drums was on the floor. I turned my back for literally 2 seconds (to eat a freakin cookie) and heard a shriek of pain. I quickly turned around and saw Omari holding his head. I ran over to him thinking he just hit his head on the floor or wall or something but I saw blood. I looked around and saw the snare drum and put two and two together. I cleaned the wound and saw a hole in his head. It was clearly a puncture. It wouldn't stop bleeding and it looked pretty deep. My baby! I was sick to my stomach because my baby was hurt. Desi held his stomach and started pacing the floor. "Oh God!" He said. He started to cry. "I don't want my baby brother to be hurt. Is he going to be okay?" He was so worried. My husband consoled him while I tried to clean the wound. I told my husband I have ...

After watching a series of Iyanla Fix My Life episodes I felt compelled to write a post about who I am as a woman. Have I truly explored that question? Who is Aisha? I have all these parts that make up the whole but what is the whole? Let's break it down by the parts first. A part of me is: 1. A wife 2. A mom 3. A daughter 4. A sister These positions in life add to who I am. Now WHO AM I at my core? Here is what I am discovering: I am a woman who has a great deal of love and respect for Jehovah God. This is the biggest part of who I am. How I move in life, whether it be spiritually,  physically,  emotionally or mentally, is wrapped up in my relationship with Jehovah. I am a woman who cares about the well being of others and is moved to help where necessary. I do not like to be overbearing and I am very sensitive to others feelings. I am observant and intuitive. At times I can be proactive and at other times I can be reactive and I am okay with that. I am a woman that lo...

I did absolutely no adulting today. I woke up and my body said "No, no, honey NOT today." Apparently, I wasn't about that 'momlife' either because I didn't do anything with the kids. They pretty much entertained themselves. I mean, of course, I fed them and made them wash their faces and brush their teeth but Desi pretty much went on an electronic binge today. He shuffled from playing some Lego Marvel game on the Playstation to watching hours of Kids Youtube. He is literally still watching as I type this and he should seriously be in bed right now. I am just too tired to put the energy into making him get up to get ready for bed. I will get to that point in about 20 minutes though....I just want to milk this rebellious state of mind a little longer. And where is my baby Omari? Oh, he is just passed out on my lap. Lol! I didn't even have to tell him to go to sleep. He romped around and crashed a few cars and ate an extreme amount of snacks and pizza so he w...

I have been on this never-ending journey....this long trek toward losing weight. I feel like I am making strides at times but then other times I feel like I am tiring out. I joined Weight Watchers again 2 months ago and lost 7 lbs in a month. I was excited! But then I got bored with it. I lost momentum. I can't stand when that happens. No matter what weight loss program it is I am all in the first few weeks and then I lose interest. I feel like I sabotage myself. It is utterly frustrating. This chick loves food! I mean I think I have a problem...really. I think about it all the time! I get excited when It's around and I always want to be around it. If food were a man I would have to kick my husband to the curb and send some papers with him. Sorry honey! Lol! All jokes aside, I have contemplated having LapBand surgery. It seems like that would do the trick but I am a little nervous about it. I want to continue to see if I can get this weight off by myself. I am going to giv...

It has been over a year since I last posted. My goal was to continue to post so I could revisit my recorded experiences. Welp! I guess I will begin again. I have changed the name of my blog from "New to the Motherhood" to "Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy" because I am no longer a new mommy. My oldest son is 6 years old now and my second is a year old. I would say that I have quite a bit of mothering experience under my belt. I feel like Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy is all-encompassing. These are the reminders I want to keep for myself and what I want to instill in my children. A mother LIVES for her children, LAUGHS with them, PRAYS for them and with them. All of this can be likened to the body of a letter. They are the major parts of being a mom and life overall. The signature at the end of this letter would be "Love Mommy." Mommy's love ties all of the major parts together. Maybe it's cheesy but that's how I see it. Anyway, I have changed the ...

Anxiety is such an emotional monster. I tell you. It can be so debilitating at times. Just yesterday I had to get back on my meds because I was getting to the point where I was unable to function with life around me. I was constantly on edge, quick-tempered, worrying about this and that, happy and sad all at the same time it seemed. I wasn't present. I was zoned out -- often in a daze. I figured this wasn't good for my husband and my boys so I popped my pill. I stopped taking my medication around the time I was 6 weeks pregnant and I didn't take it after I had Omari because I was nursing him exclusively. Well, Omari is mainly on formula now. I nurse him in the morning and evenings, but now that I am taking my medication that will have to stop. I am fine with that. I have to take care of myself in this regard. I am not sure if I will have to be on medication forever but all I know is I need balance and this is what will help me right now.

Wow. I stopped writing for 3 years? What happened? Life happened. It's been pretty busy and a lot has happened over these past few years. What should I talk about first? Hmm....new job in 2013, nervous breakdown in 2014, new job in 2014 or new baby in 2016??  I'll take new baby please! Omg! He is just so cute! His name is Omari and he is 4 months now. Gosh, time really flies. I feel like I just walked out of the hospital with him yesterday. My oldest sweetheart, Desmond, is so in love with his little brother. I am really happy about that because he had a moment when I was pregnant. He told me that he didn't love the baby and was sad. I was terrified. Fast forward to now and they are the best of friends. I almost have to pinch myself because I feel like I am dreaming. I have 2 beautiful boys. Gosh. What can I say? Oh! To make things even better, I will be celebrating my 9 year wedding anniversary next month with my best friend. I am very thankful for my blessings! Anyw...

Tuning out in 5,4,3,2,1....I would like to have a break please! And no, I am not talking about a piece of a Kit Kat bar break. I am talking about a kick off my shoes, relax, don't cook, don't talk, don't, don't, don't, just don't do anything because I deserve it kind of break! Whew! I'm glad to get that off my chest. It has been a minute since I have even posted anything because things have been so hectic and when I finally get some time to rest, I'm sleeping. A chick just doesn't have time to write anything and sometimes when the time arrives, I don't want to write because that requires thinking and my brain refuses to do such a thing when it's burned out. I feel bad, because Desi has watched more TV than I can stand over these past few weeks. I just need some time! I want to be by myself. Not forever, but for maybe a day. That's it. I want to enjoy a silent room and listen to my thoughts and connect with myself. Gosh, I saw a post on ...

"I'm a strong little guy!" Desmond victoriously screeches as he picks up the gallon of laundry detergent. He moves the detergent into the kitchen and as if that weren't enough of a challenge, he picks up another gallon of detergent and moves that into the kitchen. "See mommy, I'm a strong little guy!" Mommy smiles and admiringly requests to see the strong little guys big muscles. Desmond immediately throws his arms up as if he were a body builder competing for a trophy. "Wow! You definitely have some huge muscles Desi!" Mommy says. Desmond imagines that he has a cape. "I am going to save you mommy!" Desmond knows that all the superheroes have life-saving muscles. He imagines that mommy has fallen into the water and cannot swim. "Here, take my hand! I will save you!" Says the strong little guy. He saves his mommy from the dangerous waters. "Oh thank you so much! You saved my life!" Mommy says. She l...

So a few weeks ago I spoke about Desi reverting back to baby years. Well, it seems that lately he is trying to show a little independence. He wants to do things on his own. One time I pulled a plum out of his lunch bag and handed it to him. He pushed it away and said, "No, I can do it Mommy." He took the plum from me, put it back in the bag and took it out himself. Another night he got mad at me and said, "I'm the adult and you're the child Mommy!" Wha-what did you just say to me little boy?! LOL! I couldn't even correct him because it was just so funny. Interesting huh? He is really going through some changes. One minute he wants to be a baby and the next minute he wants to act like he is years away from my womb. LOL! Well, his growing feet are a true indication that he is becoming a big boy. A few Mondays ago, Chris and I took Desi to the mall to go shoe shopping. I decided that I wanted to get his feet measured. I am so glad that I ...

I was talking to a friend of mine today about our little 2 year old boys. Desi was crawling around the floor. I joked and said that he was reverting back to his baby stage. She happened to mention that her son was doing the same thing. He has been acting as if he were a little baby. In that moment of talking with her, I realized that my joke was really not a joke. It was a true statement. I flashed back to a few whiny moments and how clingy Desi has become. He has  become a little baby. I am pretty sure all kids his age go through this. I read that kids who revert back to their baby stage do that because they are growing up so fast and they are taking in so much that they want to revert back to what made them feel secure. I can see that. Shoot, sometimes I feel that way! I want to have a couple of tantrums and hop on my mommy's lap and nestle my head on her bosom. Now mommies, this behavior is perfectly normal. Only when your baby's motor skills start to revert backward will y...

"Oh, oh! I want to bless someone mommy!" Desi yelled out tonight as I began the prayer. He proceeded to mention names. "Bless, Gigi and Pop Pop, Granma, Uncle, Tyson, my house, my fan and my twinkle little star." That last request tickled me. He was so serious too. I am just so glad that he is learning to cultivate that intimate relationship with God. The fact that he took initiative to pray for others is amazing. He evening prayed for our neighbor and her dog! I can only pray that Desi's love for God grows deeper and deeper. We definitely do not force it because we do not want to irritate him. Case in point, the other night at dinner, I asked Desi who made the sky and the clouds. He shook his head and said, "No Mommy no." Lol! He clearly wasn't interested in having that kind of conversation at that time. His response took me aback, but I understood and let him eat and talk about what he wanted to talk about. This world is not getting any bette...

Hello to everyone in the motherhood! It feels so good to be back. I had a few technical difficulties so I have been on hiatus. I hope that all is well. Desi is doing very well. He is moving right along. He is getting so tall and he talking up a storm. Just today he said, "That's just impossible!" Really? My husband and I just laughed. This boy seriously unpredictable. We are in such awe. In other news, I really wanted to go on a "me-time" vacation this weekend, but I procrastinated with making reservations. I wanted to go somewhere I could connect with my thoughts without distractions. I wanted to dive into the Bible and do some personal study and have some one-on-one time with Jehovah God--my own spiritual retreat. Well, I will just put that in my back pocket. Until then, I will continue with finding little pockets of time to connect with myself. I truly believe that it is necessary. Only because I have been on the other side where I lost myself in my baby bo...

Things have been so busy!!! My husband and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary on the 8th of this month. I was going to do a special anniversary post, but there's just not enough time in the day. I will post some pics from our special day at the end of this post. Okay, so I have not felt like talking and playing with Desi for the past few days! I cringe as I write this, but it's true. I don't want to play and when I am driving him to daycare, mommy just doesn't feel like talking. Don't get me wrong, I do talk and play with him, but is halfheartedly. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to check out for a little bit. I need a break...like a go on a weekend get away by myself and with myself. I need to do this pronto because I want to give my full attention to my little munchie. I hope he doesn't notice how unexcited I am about playing and having a conversation with him. Omg! I need some R&R. Let me see where I can go for a weekend.... To be con...

Hello!! I've been gone for a while, but for good reason. I was studying for my state exam for my insurance license. I passed! I am now licensed to write and sell auto and home policies. Woo hoo! So I got my life back. Hubby was so great during this time. He took care of everything and supported me tremendously. Now, Desi was supportive as well. He would join in on my studies. "Want to study with chew mommy," he would say. When I passed, he said "Good job mommy! So proud of you!" (of course daddy coached him). It just warmed my heart. Anyway,  I have to share this hilarious story with you all. One night, earlier last week, we are trying to get Desi to poop in the toilet.  He just refused to sit his little butt down on the seat. We knew he had to poop, so we really wanted him to get on the toilet. My husband was speaking with his mother on the phone and she heard the commotion. She suggested that we just let him go pamperless for the night before going to bed. T...