Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy

You cannot control perception. This is something I learned very recently. My son and I traveled to New York this week. Our hotel served complimentary breakfast so everyday my son and I would go down to the lobby to eat and talk. No tablet and no phones because this is norm for our little family at the table. On our last day at the hotel, I allowed Desi to take the tablet down so he could enjoy a little time "to himself " at the table. As I sat down with my food I watched Desi as he chewed silently and swung his feet back and forth with delight. It made me smile. I peered over to my left a noticed a woman with her grandson sitting at a table. I noticed that there were no phones out at their table. An insecure thought rushed over me. "Oh gosh she must think that I am a horrible mother because I am sitting here on my phone not interacting with my son who is on his TABLET! Ugh! I should tell him to put it down and start engaging in some deep mother son conversation." I...

I am sick and do not know why. I have been dealing with some serious symptoms. I have always dealt with extreme fatigue but in the past 2 years it has become nearly debilitating. I find it hard to do simple things like grocery shopping or doing chores around the house or walking up the steps or putting my clothes on. I experience extreme fatigue with these activities and it usually takes me a day or two to recoup. I have dizziness, and heart palpitations. I have recently experienced chest pain. It wasn't until I started having chest pains during sex when I decided it was time to take a visit to the doctor. My doctor advised that this could be something related to my heart. Since visiting the doctor, I have had blood tests that show I am healthy and I recently did a stress test and 2D Echo that showed my heart was fine. I immediately felt like a fool and quickly reasoned that this was possibly in my head. I have an angiogram scheduled for tomorrow but I don't think anything will...

I did absolutely no adulting today. I woke up and my body said "No, no, honey NOT today." Apparently, I wasn't about that 'momlife' either because I didn't do anything with the kids. They pretty much entertained themselves. I mean, of course, I fed them and made them wash their faces and brush their teeth but Desi pretty much went on an electronic binge today. He shuffled from playing some Lego Marvel game on the Playstation to watching hours of Kids Youtube. He is literally still watching as I type this and he should seriously be in bed right now. I am just too tired to put the energy into making him get up to get ready for bed. I will get to that point in about 20 minutes though....I just want to milk this rebellious state of mind a little longer. And where is my baby Omari? Oh, he is just passed out on my lap. Lol! I didn't even have to tell him to go to sleep. He romped around and crashed a few cars and ate an extreme amount of snacks and pizza so he w...

It has been over a year since I last posted. My goal was to continue to post so I could revisit my recorded experiences. Welp! I guess I will begin again. I have changed the name of my blog from "New to the Motherhood" to "Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy" because I am no longer a new mommy. My oldest son is 6 years old now and my second is a year old. I would say that I have quite a bit of mothering experience under my belt. I feel like Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy is all-encompassing. These are the reminders I want to keep for myself and what I want to instill in my children. A mother LIVES for her children, LAUGHS with them, PRAYS for them and with them. All of this can be likened to the body of a letter. They are the major parts of being a mom and life overall. The signature at the end of this letter would be "Love Mommy." Mommy's love ties all of the major parts together. Maybe it's cheesy but that's how I see it. Anyway, I have changed the ...

Anxiety is such an emotional monster. I tell you. It can be so debilitating at times. Just yesterday I had to get back on my meds because I was getting to the point where I was unable to function with life around me. I was constantly on edge, quick-tempered, worrying about this and that, happy and sad all at the same time it seemed. I wasn't present. I was zoned out -- often in a daze. I figured this wasn't good for my husband and my boys so I popped my pill. I stopped taking my medication around the time I was 6 weeks pregnant and I didn't take it after I had Omari because I was nursing him exclusively. Well, Omari is mainly on formula now. I nurse him in the morning and evenings, but now that I am taking my medication that will have to stop. I am fine with that. I have to take care of myself in this regard. I am not sure if I will have to be on medication forever but all I know is I need balance and this is what will help me right now.

Wow. I stopped writing for 3 years? What happened? Life happened. It's been pretty busy and a lot has happened over these past few years. What should I talk about first? Hmm....new job in 2013, nervous breakdown in 2014, new job in 2014 or new baby in 2016??  I'll take new baby please! Omg! He is just so cute! His name is Omari and he is 4 months now. Gosh, time really flies. I feel like I just walked out of the hospital with him yesterday. My oldest sweetheart, Desmond, is so in love with his little brother. I am really happy about that because he had a moment when I was pregnant. He told me that he didn't love the baby and was sad. I was terrified. Fast forward to now and they are the best of friends. I almost have to pinch myself because I feel like I am dreaming. I have 2 beautiful boys. Gosh. What can I say? Oh! To make things even better, I will be celebrating my 9 year wedding anniversary next month with my best friend. I am very thankful for my blessings! Anyw...

Tuning out in 5,4,3,2,1....I would like to have a break please! And no, I am not talking about a piece of a Kit Kat bar break. I am talking about a kick off my shoes, relax, don't cook, don't talk, don't, don't, don't, just don't do anything because I deserve it kind of break! Whew! I'm glad to get that off my chest. It has been a minute since I have even posted anything because things have been so hectic and when I finally get some time to rest, I'm sleeping. A chick just doesn't have time to write anything and sometimes when the time arrives, I don't want to write because that requires thinking and my brain refuses to do such a thing when it's burned out. I feel bad, because Desi has watched more TV than I can stand over these past few weeks. I just need some time! I want to be by myself. Not forever, but for maybe a day. That's it. I want to enjoy a silent room and listen to my thoughts and connect with myself. Gosh, I saw a post on ...

"I'm a strong little guy!" Desmond victoriously screeches as he picks up the gallon of laundry detergent. He moves the detergent into the kitchen and as if that weren't enough of a challenge, he picks up another gallon of detergent and moves that into the kitchen. "See mommy, I'm a strong little guy!" Mommy smiles and admiringly requests to see the strong little guys big muscles. Desmond immediately throws his arms up as if he were a body builder competing for a trophy. "Wow! You definitely have some huge muscles Desi!" Mommy says. Desmond imagines that he has a cape. "I am going to save you mommy!" Desmond knows that all the superheroes have life-saving muscles. He imagines that mommy has fallen into the water and cannot swim. "Here, take my hand! I will save you!" Says the strong little guy. He saves his mommy from the dangerous waters. "Oh thank you so much! You saved my life!" Mommy says. She l...

So a few weeks ago I spoke about Desi reverting back to baby years. Well, it seems that lately he is trying to show a little independence. He wants to do things on his own. One time I pulled a plum out of his lunch bag and handed it to him. He pushed it away and said, "No, I can do it Mommy." He took the plum from me, put it back in the bag and took it out himself. Another night he got mad at me and said, "I'm the adult and you're the child Mommy!" Wha-what did you just say to me little boy?! LOL! I couldn't even correct him because it was just so funny. Interesting huh? He is really going through some changes. One minute he wants to be a baby and the next minute he wants to act like he is years away from my womb. LOL! Well, his growing feet are a true indication that he is becoming a big boy. A few Mondays ago, Chris and I took Desi to the mall to go shoe shopping. I decided that I wanted to get his feet measured. I am so glad that I ...

I was talking to a friend of mine today about our little 2 year old boys. Desi was crawling around the floor. I joked and said that he was reverting back to his baby stage. She happened to mention that her son was doing the same thing. He has been acting as if he were a little baby. In that moment of talking with her, I realized that my joke was really not a joke. It was a true statement. I flashed back to a few whiny moments and how clingy Desi has become. He has  become a little baby. I am pretty sure all kids his age go through this. I read that kids who revert back to their baby stage do that because they are growing up so fast and they are taking in so much that they want to revert back to what made them feel secure. I can see that. Shoot, sometimes I feel that way! I want to have a couple of tantrums and hop on my mommy's lap and nestle my head on her bosom. Now mommies, this behavior is perfectly normal. Only when your baby's motor skills start to revert backward will y...

"Oh, oh! I want to bless someone mommy!" Desi yelled out tonight as I began the prayer. He proceeded to mention names. "Bless, Gigi and Pop Pop, Granma, Uncle, Tyson, my house, my fan and my twinkle little star." That last request tickled me. He was so serious too. I am just so glad that he is learning to cultivate that intimate relationship with God. The fact that he took initiative to pray for others is amazing. He evening prayed for our neighbor and her dog! I can only pray that Desi's love for God grows deeper and deeper. We definitely do not force it because we do not want to irritate him. Case in point, the other night at dinner, I asked Desi who made the sky and the clouds. He shook his head and said, "No Mommy no." Lol! He clearly wasn't interested in having that kind of conversation at that time. His response took me aback, but I understood and let him eat and talk about what he wanted to talk about. This world is not getting any bette...

Hello to everyone in the motherhood! It feels so good to be back. I had a few technical difficulties so I have been on hiatus. I hope that all is well. Desi is doing very well. He is moving right along. He is getting so tall and he talking up a storm. Just today he said, "That's just impossible!" Really? My husband and I just laughed. This boy seriously unpredictable. We are in such awe. In other news, I really wanted to go on a "me-time" vacation this weekend, but I procrastinated with making reservations. I wanted to go somewhere I could connect with my thoughts without distractions. I wanted to dive into the Bible and do some personal study and have some one-on-one time with Jehovah God--my own spiritual retreat. Well, I will just put that in my back pocket. Until then, I will continue with finding little pockets of time to connect with myself. I truly believe that it is necessary. Only because I have been on the other side where I lost myself in my baby bo...

Things have been so busy!!! My husband and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary on the 8th of this month. I was going to do a special anniversary post, but there's just not enough time in the day. I will post some pics from our special day at the end of this post. Okay, so I have not felt like talking and playing with Desi for the past few days! I cringe as I write this, but it's true. I don't want to play and when I am driving him to daycare, mommy just doesn't feel like talking. Don't get me wrong, I do talk and play with him, but is halfheartedly. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to check out for a little bit. I need a break...like a go on a weekend get away by myself and with myself. I need to do this pronto because I want to give my full attention to my little munchie. I hope he doesn't notice how unexcited I am about playing and having a conversation with him. Omg! I need some R&R. Let me see where I can go for a weekend.... To be con...

Hello!! I've been gone for a while, but for good reason. I was studying for my state exam for my insurance license. I passed! I am now licensed to write and sell auto and home policies. Woo hoo! So I got my life back. Hubby was so great during this time. He took care of everything and supported me tremendously. Now, Desi was supportive as well. He would join in on my studies. "Want to study with chew mommy," he would say. When I passed, he said "Good job mommy! So proud of you!" (of course daddy coached him). It just warmed my heart. Anyway,  I have to share this hilarious story with you all. One night, earlier last week, we are trying to get Desi to poop in the toilet.  He just refused to sit his little butt down on the seat. We knew he had to poop, so we really wanted him to get on the toilet. My husband was speaking with his mother on the phone and she heard the commotion. She suggested that we just let him go pamperless for the night before going to bed. T...