Skip to main content

EphiphaME

Image
By

A few months back, my dear friend approached me expressing her concern regarding my overall state of being. She noticed that I was nearing a point of break down. She was right. I had been so engrossed in caring for the boys and my husband that I was neglecting myself. Unhappiness must have been my outer garment because my friend SAW me. She implored me to take some time out for myself in order to take care of ME. She assured me that I would not be selfish if I did this. After that interaction with her, my eyes were open. I immediately talked to my husband about that conversation and how I was feeling. He encouraged me to take some time and reminded me that he had been trying to get me to do that for a while. I realized then how stubborn I was.

Every Sunday I designate 3 hrs to myself. I use that time to decompress and reconnect with myself. During the warmer months, I would walk around my favorite lake. Now that it is colder, I shop or I chill in my room with the door locked and do anything my heart desires while the kids are with my husband. Sometimes my husband takes the kids out while I hang out in the house. As an anxiety/depression sufferer this time I have set aside is invaluable. I am able to focus on breathing because believe it or not, I go through the day forgetting to breathe. I am tense all day and my mind feels like an overwhelming traffic jam of intense thoughts and worry. It's exhausting. So I have tried to incorporate some breathing exercises during my time alone as well.

There is really nothing extravagant that I do but it is just time with me. It took me some time to get to the point where this time apart from my family didn't make me feel guilty or make me feel like I was neglecting them. At first the guilt was so bad that I would punish myself by trying not to have fun by myself. It sounds crazy but it's the truth. I no longer punish myself. I thoroughly enjoy my time alone and I always return to my family refreshed and ready.

When it all boils down to it, I hold my family together and if I am unable to hold myself together then my family will suffer. I see the importance of putting myself first (in a balanced and healthy way) and the importance of having good friends in my life and a wonderfully supportive husband. Life is good and I am determined to keep it that way.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Who Are You My Beloved?

By
After watching a series of Iyanla Fix My Life episodes I felt compelled to write a post about who I am as a woman. Have I truly explored that question? Who is Aisha? I have all these parts that make up the whole but what is the whole? Let's break it down by the parts first. A part of me is: 1. A wife 2. A mom 3. A daughter 4. A sister These positions in life add to who I am. Now WHO AM I at my core? Here is what I am discovering: I am a woman who has a great deal of love and respect for Jehovah God. This is the biggest part of who I am. How I move in life, whether it be spiritually,  physically,  emotionally or mentally, is wrapped up in my relationship with Jehovah. I am a woman who cares about the well being of others and is moved to help where necessary. I do not like to be overbearing and I am very sensitive to others feelings. I am observant and intuitive. At times I can be proactive and at other times I can be reactive and I am okay with that. I am a woman that lo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Let's Play?

By
I think I have lost my ability to play. Many times I wonder where my imagination has gone. I admire those moms that can think of myriads of play activities. I can't think of a single one. So when I say to Desi, "Wanna play with mommy?" When he says "yes" (sometimes he will say "no mommy") I am thinking, "okay what should we do?" I get slight anxiety. LOL! We'll run around and play with cars, but I'm not sure if that is enough. I guess I can google activities to do with a 1 1/2 year old, but shouldn't this come naturally? I don't know why this is an issue to be honest. I feel pretty silly even writing about it but I am hoping I am not the only one in the motherhood feeling this way.  Case in point, Desi and I were playing at the park the other day. He goes to sit down in the mulch and he says to me, "sit mommy, sit." I sit with him and start wondering what should we do. So I pick up two sticks and we have a stick f...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's Bedtime!

By
I love the bedtime routine we have set out for Desi. He gets his bath and a good rub down. We say a prayer with daddy and we read 2 books. The first book is always "My Book of Bible Stories" and the second book is "The Snuggliest Snuggle in the World." I bought the second book for Desi when I was 3 months pregnant and I just knew and felt that it was going to be his favorite book. Mommy's intuition did not steer her wrong! He loves the book! He really gets into the voices I make for each character, we point out colors and animals. He will turn the page and when the story is over I say, "The end. Okay close the book Desi." He will, then, close the book. I tell him night night and we go over to the light switch. I tell him to turn the light off and he turns the light off. A moon is projected on the wall so we say goodnight to the moon and I turn on the heartbeat sound on the projector. He gives mommy a hug and I put him in his crib. He holds my hand unti...
1 comment
Read more