Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy

You cannot control perception. This is something I learned very recently. My son and I traveled to New York this week. Our hotel served complimentary breakfast so everyday my son and I would go down to the lobby to eat and talk. No tablet and no phones because this is norm for our little family at the table. On our last day at the hotel, I allowed Desi to take the tablet down so he could enjoy a little time "to himself " at the table. As I sat down with my food I watched Desi as he chewed silently and swung his feet back and forth with delight. It made me smile. I peered over to my left a noticed a woman with her grandson sitting at a table. I noticed that there were no phones out at their table. An insecure thought rushed over me. "Oh gosh she must think that I am a horrible mother because I am sitting here on my phone not interacting with my son who is on his TABLET! Ugh! I should tell him to put it down and start engaging in some deep mother son conversation." I...

A few months back, my dear friend approached me expressing her concern regarding my overall state of being. She noticed that I was nearing a point of break down. She was right. I had been so engrossed in caring for the boys and my husband that I was neglecting myself. Unhappiness must have been my outer garment because my friend SAW me. She implored me to take some time out for myself in order to take care of ME. She assured me that I would not be selfish if I did this. After that interaction with her, my eyes were open. I immediately talked to my husband about that conversation and how I was feeling. He encouraged me to take some time and reminded me that he had been trying to get me to do that for a while. I realized then how stubborn I was. Every Sunday I designate 3 hrs to myself. I use that time to decompress and reconnect with myself. During the warmer months, I would walk around my favorite lake. Now that it is colder, I shop or I chill in my room with the door locked and d...

I am still on a journey to find out the cause of my challenged health. It is almost like an episode of Mystery Diagnosis when I reflect on my experience. I have been back and forth to the doctor (not only of recent but throughout the years as well) and getting a series of tests done. My previous post, "Heart of the Matter 2," revealed that I did not have a heart issue but I recently got a message from my doc stating that they reviewed the video the Cardiologist sent them and his notes indicated Pulmonary Hypertension. She ordered a rush chest X-ray to see if anything is going on with my lungs and everything came back normal, which was good news. My doctor has advised that she wanted me to get a CT Pulmonary Angiogram done since the first one did not focus on my lungs. I scheduled that for January 2nd. Once that comes back, we will know more and I may be referred to a Pulmonary specialist for further testing. Of course, I googled Pulmonary Hypertension and found out that it ...

I am woman I bleed for love I carry the seed for love There is strength in my womb and my soul carries the weight of the future Nothing would stand without the right hand I am the confidence builder for any man See my beauty on the darkest of days I will beam like sunlight to show you the way Never underestimate the intelligence built within me Adam was a perfect man but admitted he needed me Lay on my heart Hear the story it will tell It beats for love and that will never fail I am woman wonderfully made and exceptional I am woman I am powerful

I have been on this never-ending journey....this long trek toward losing weight. I feel like I am making strides at times but then other times I feel like I am tiring out. I joined Weight Watchers again 2 months ago and lost 7 lbs in a month. I was excited! But then I got bored with it. I lost momentum. I can't stand when that happens. No matter what weight loss program it is I am all in the first few weeks and then I lose interest. I feel like I sabotage myself. It is utterly frustrating. This chick loves food! I mean I think I have a problem...really. I think about it all the time! I get excited when It's around and I always want to be around it. If food were a man I would have to kick my husband to the curb and send some papers with him. Sorry honey! Lol! All jokes aside, I have contemplated having LapBand surgery. It seems like that would do the trick but I am a little nervous about it. I want to continue to see if I can get this weight off by myself. I am going to giv...