Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy

You cannot control perception. This is something I learned very recently. My son and I traveled to New York this week. Our hotel served complimentary breakfast so everyday my son and I would go down to the lobby to eat and talk. No tablet and no phones because this is norm for our little family at the table. On our last day at the hotel, I allowed Desi to take the tablet down so he could enjoy a little time "to himself " at the table. As I sat down with my food I watched Desi as he chewed silently and swung his feet back and forth with delight. It made me smile. I peered over to my left a noticed a woman with her grandson sitting at a table. I noticed that there were no phones out at their table. An insecure thought rushed over me. "Oh gosh she must think that I am a horrible mother because I am sitting here on my phone not interacting with my son who is on his TABLET! Ugh! I should tell him to put it down and start engaging in some deep mother son conversation." I...

It has been a month since my last post regarding my health. As of today, my heart is fine. My chest pains have subsided and the fatigue is no longer over-bearing. My latest blood test revealed that I have inflammation somewhere in my body. The doctors are not sure what the cause is. I went to the Rheumatologist and she confirmed that I did not have Lupus or Rheumatoid Arthritis or any other autoimmune disease. That was a relief to hear. Although I was relieved, I felt a little defeated. I was hoping to get some answers and a solution to the problem. My mother suggested that I eliminate some of the medication I take. I tried eliminating my anxiety medication (with the help of my doc of course). I was going strong for about 2 weeks without it but found I needed to get back to taking it. Next was the birth control. I read that birth control can be the culprit so I stopped taking it. I have known for some time that the pill does more harm than good on a woman's body but I didn't ...

My 1 year old got stitches on his head last night (really this morning- ER was packed). The first of many real deal boo boos. We have a drum set in our basement and one of the snare drums was on the floor. I turned my back for literally 2 seconds (to eat a freakin cookie) and heard a shriek of pain. I quickly turned around and saw Omari holding his head. I ran over to him thinking he just hit his head on the floor or wall or something but I saw blood. I looked around and saw the snare drum and put two and two together. I cleaned the wound and saw a hole in his head. It was clearly a puncture. It wouldn't stop bleeding and it looked pretty deep. My baby! I was sick to my stomach because my baby was hurt. Desi held his stomach and started pacing the floor. "Oh God!" He said. He started to cry. "I don't want my baby brother to be hurt. Is he going to be okay?" He was so worried. My husband consoled him while I tried to clean the wound. I told my husband I have ...

I did absolutely no adulting today. I woke up and my body said "No, no, honey NOT today." Apparently, I wasn't about that 'momlife' either because I didn't do anything with the kids. They pretty much entertained themselves. I mean, of course, I fed them and made them wash their faces and brush their teeth but Desi pretty much went on an electronic binge today. He shuffled from playing some Lego Marvel game on the Playstation to watching hours of Kids Youtube. He is literally still watching as I type this and he should seriously be in bed right now. I am just too tired to put the energy into making him get up to get ready for bed. I will get to that point in about 20 minutes though....I just want to milk this rebellious state of mind a little longer. And where is my baby Omari? Oh, he is just passed out on my lap. Lol! I didn't even have to tell him to go to sleep. He romped around and crashed a few cars and ate an extreme amount of snacks and pizza so he w...

So the other night I was thinking really hard about LapBand surgery again. Those thoughts led me to look at a few YouTube LapBand testimonials. I was almost convinced that this would be the route I go in the next two years but then there were a few videos that made me think harder about how I would adjust to having the LapBand. Everyone in those videos mentioned that they were only able to eat what was literally a pinch of food. Some others got really sick, and some shared experiences where someone they knew that had the surgery passed away. First, I reasoned that I definitely need something that will force me to stop eating in excess (I mean it is after 10pm. I had a full meal but I am munching on chips and popcorn for crying out loud). However, I do LOVE food and I can't imagine not being able to enjoy it the way I do now and I do not feel comfortable with risking my overall health or life. So, with that being said, imma put the idea of LapBand surgery on a strong hold. Inste...