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Always My Baby

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The other day someone started cooing over how tiny my baby boy's hands are. Upon hearing that comment, I felt a slight tug at my heart because I remember when his hands were smaller. They are getting bigger along with everything else. Oh how I wish that I can freeze time for just a second so I can get a few uninterrupted moments with my growing son. He is going to be 1 this Saturday! My husband says that I should be excited, but I just feel so weepy. I just want my small little cuddlie baby back! LOL! I keep looking back on January 7, 2011. I held my 5lbs 13oz baby boy for the first time. I just want that moment back. It's just a memory now. I am not trying to depress any one. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing Desi grow. It's amazing. He is developing so much character and he is so fun to be with. I just know that as time moves on, he will not be my little baby anymore. I am going to miss that. I don't know. Am I the only one that feels this way? Are my feelings a little crazy?

Believe me, I don't want to stifle my child's growth. Especially because he is a boy and he is black. One thing that is not cute is to see a young black man stuck on his mommy or daddy or both and unable to make decisions and do things on his own. Those type of men are less motivated to do things on their own, lazy, and irresponsible. Chris and I definitely want to teach Desi to be independent, of course, what he will learn will be age appropriate. We don't want to be unrealistic with it. I just want to set him up for his future. Mommy and daddy are not always going to be around, so Desi needs to learn how to be self-sufficient. It's so important because it is already tough for a young black man to move ahead in this society. Also, I don't want his potential wife to take on a role as wife and mother. You know what I'm sayin'? That's just not cute. LOL! I want him to be able to take care of his family's needs and be a strong spiritual head of his family.

...But for now, he is just turning 1 and that's how I will try to view it. He's not a grown man yet.

Time waits for nothing and no one. I just wish that it would wait for me. I am not going to stay at this pity party too long because I surely do not want to miss these wonderful new moments that I have with Desi. He is such a joy and a beautiful baby boy. However, no matter how old he is, he will ALWAYS be my baby.

 Desi was 7 months old in this pic. He is getting in touch with his past! LOL!

Comments

  1. Sim1January 3, 2012 at 9:25 PM

    AAWWW... I love this. I almost shed a tear.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJanuary 4, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    I had the same feelings when you and your sister started the growing process. Your feelings are normal do not worry just take it one day at a time. Although you and your sister is grown and out of the house I will always be a little concern about what is going on. As a mother we can't help our feelings because it is a gift and a blessing from God. He is growing and I think he know this already so chill. LOL. Love your mom.

    ReplyDelete

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