Live, Laugh, Pray, Love Mommy

You cannot control perception. This is something I learned very recently. My son and I traveled to New York this week. Our hotel served complimentary breakfast so everyday my son and I would go down to the lobby to eat and talk. No tablet and no phones because this is norm for our little family at the table. On our last day at the hotel, I allowed Desi to take the tablet down so he could enjoy a little time "to himself " at the table. As I sat down with my food I watched Desi as he chewed silently and swung his feet back and forth with delight. It made me smile. I peered over to my left a noticed a woman with her grandson sitting at a table. I noticed that there were no phones out at their table. An insecure thought rushed over me. "Oh gosh she must think that I am a horrible mother because I am sitting here on my phone not interacting with my son who is on his TABLET! Ugh! I should tell him to put it down and start engaging in some deep mother son conversation." I...

A few months back, my dear friend approached me expressing her concern regarding my overall state of being. She noticed that I was nearing a point of break down. She was right. I had been so engrossed in caring for the boys and my husband that I was neglecting myself. Unhappiness must have been my outer garment because my friend SAW me. She implored me to take some time out for myself in order to take care of ME. She assured me that I would not be selfish if I did this. After that interaction with her, my eyes were open. I immediately talked to my husband about that conversation and how I was feeling. He encouraged me to take some time and reminded me that he had been trying to get me to do that for a while. I realized then how stubborn I was. Every Sunday I designate 3 hrs to myself. I use that time to decompress and reconnect with myself. During the warmer months, I would walk around my favorite lake. Now that it is colder, I shop or I chill in my room with the door locked and d...

I finally did it! I have submitted my manuscript for my children's book and it has been accepted for publishing! I am going to be an author. I have imagined this for most of my lifetime. I fought back self doubt and fear and I am proud to say that I have succeeded. I have penned a very cute and interactive story for young ones to dive into. I can't wait to see how it all comes together. I decided to submit my manuscript to a hybrid publishing company. A hybrid publisher is a fusion between self publishing and traditional publishing. A publishing agent from the company contacted me and explained their services (editing, illustrating, type setting, marketing and many more), she let me know that they were pretty particular with the type of books they approve to publish so just submit and "we will see what happens." It took me months to submit it, I have to admit, because I was extremely nervous and the possibility of the rejection would have burned. However, I did it and...

I am still on a journey to find out the cause of my challenged health. It is almost like an episode of Mystery Diagnosis when I reflect on my experience. I have been back and forth to the doctor (not only of recent but throughout the years as well) and getting a series of tests done. My previous post, "Heart of the Matter 2," revealed that I did not have a heart issue but I recently got a message from my doc stating that they reviewed the video the Cardiologist sent them and his notes indicated Pulmonary Hypertension. She ordered a rush chest X-ray to see if anything is going on with my lungs and everything came back normal, which was good news. My doctor has advised that she wanted me to get a CT Pulmonary Angiogram done since the first one did not focus on my lungs. I scheduled that for January 2nd. Once that comes back, we will know more and I may be referred to a Pulmonary specialist for further testing. Of course, I googled Pulmonary Hypertension and found out that it ...

In the morning I wake to the beaming eyes of the sun I am instantly taken by a sweet calm comparable to a brisk breeze where a river runs The way he shines through my window warms the very vessel of my heart I know he will be with me throughout the day-we will never part I reach out to the sun and lift him to feel the warmth against my face As I kiss the sun I bring him in close-a sweet embrace His tiny rays tickle my skin….I grin I sit and admire the way he lights up the room And fills the air with a sweet and odorless perfume The sun is so pure and organic Untainted by impurities hovering below him because he rises so high The sun rises so high, as the arms of the clouds lift him up in the sky So thankful for these moments What a beautiful sight to see He feeds my soul and brings nourishment to my body I kiss the sun good night and fall fast to sleep Soon morning will come and I will rise again to the beaming eyes of the sun.